Rants from a Cynical Raven

I want to start off by saying I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted. I’ve had a lot going on and I’ve just been so busy!! Please forgive me

So my friends are awesome…no, I don’t care about YOUR friends, my friends are better. They’re super amazing, super positive and I’m the luckiest person in the world to have them. Nothing in particular sparked this post about my friends, just that they are amazing XD One of my buddies from Middle School came down from New York recently, so I decided that it was time to celebrate with her!!! So I got a bunch of us together and we all went to karaoke. Not your lame bar with a karaoke machine, a REAL karaoke place!! It was epic! Music, laughter, souju, good times were had by all!!! I’m sad she’s back in New York….I MISS YOU!!!!

GOD I LOVE THIS GAME MORE THAN I SHOULD!!!!! Dynasty Warriors, otherwise known as the most repetitive game in the history of existence. I can’t help it, the fact that half of these people were real and half of this shit actually happened I get so sucked into it. I think that it’s also because I want to become a Chinese History professor that I’m so into it. I actually want to specialize in the turn of the 2nd Century/end of the Han Dynasty era…..yes the era that Dynasty Warriors takes place in DON’T JUDGE ME!!!! Anyway, I went out and got the expansion pack for DW6 and besides getting to create your own characters, I’m not too impressed with it. You do get to load all your old stuff from DW6 and the horses and combat are better, but again, not too impressed. Oh well…when DW7 comes out I’ll buy that too…….because I’m a consumer whore…

So I went to the Distant Worlds concert a week or so ago (for those that can’t read the image above it’s “music from Final Fantasy”) I had a lot of fun with my friends but I do have to say that the previous years were better. They had an amazing music selection this time and I got to meet one of the Tenors!! I -was- impressed, however, with the fact that they sang the opera from Final Fantasy 6 “Maria and Draco” and sang it well. The guy they had singing Ralse’s part was amazing and he only looked like he was 18!! Perfect! It made me realize that I really do love all the music from Final Fantasy and that I’d really like to own all the soundtracks. I already have FF7……and my birthday is coming up……hintidy-hint-hint….

LOOK OUT WORLD!! I’M LEARNING KOREAN!!! MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! No, really though I am learning Korean ❤ I’m excited to be learning a new language even tho I’m kind of learning by myself. My friend Vinny said when she gets some time she’d offer her services to help me study and put everything into context. Right now I can read a lot of it but I have no idea what any of it means XDD Just like “I totally know that reads: ha-ba-say-yo” BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN!??!?!?! I’m learning ^^ It’s great to learn! CAUSE KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!!

Speaking of concerts!!! OMFG D’ESPAIRSRAY CONCERT IN LIKE….2 DAYS!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAY!! I’m excited as always to be a part of the music scene. I’m going to be crazy as usual and Dr. Sweet and I are going to leave around 2a.m. to get to a show that doesn’t start until like….6p.m. or something. Yes…crazy. I’m also excited cause I get to see some folks I haven’t been able to hang out with for months!!! Makes me happy ^^ YAY!

In other random news, I’ve been dating again ^__^ I’m still really……not sure about a lot of things since my last break-up but I’m always willing to try. Always. I’ve got a guy in my sights and I ain’t stoppin’ til he says no!! XDDDD Ah…I’m such a go-get-’em kinda gal…no wonder I scare so many guys away…I’m aggressive XDD ‘Til next time, folks!!!


I’ve been gone for awhile, I’m sorry to all those that like to read my blogs but I’ve been trying to pick myself up. April 30, 2010 my father past away. I’m dealing with it how any one else who lost some one they loved would deal with it. Been crying, been depressed, I’m kind of not sure what I’m doing or anything. My father was my best friend, made me what I am today so I feel sort of lost. I’ll be ok eventually, I just don’t know when.

In other news, I’ve decided that I’m going to concentrate on my music. I feel like with all the rush-dating I do to try and find some one I actually want to be with, that I’m just wasting energy that could be used on more productive things. Why am I trying so hard? I should just let it happen so I’ve decided that I need to get hardcore with my drumming. I’ve started taking more lessons (once a week) and I find that I’m really, really happy when I’m lost in the beat. I’m not thinking about anything except the beat and the rhythm. I don’t know what it is about the drums that make me happy, exactly, they just do. My drum teacher is freaking awesome, the man is partially deaf so he watches and feels the beats I make instead of hearing them. He corrects me perfectly and I’m still amazed at how freaking good he is. My band has accepted me back and that makes me happier than anything. I’m still not fantastic at drums (about where I started, honestly) but I know that I can be great and I can’t wait to start making real music with my band mates.

Computers: I have a love/hate relationship with them. Recently I moved into a new room and finally uncovered my pc that I built about 5 years ago. I decided to fire it up to see how it was running. My analysis: Not very well at all. The computer was riddled with viruses but I couldn’t physically find any, I just knew they were there. So after looking through it and then having a friend look through it, I decided to just format the HD. I took everything I wanted off of it anyway, where’s the harm, right? No! Computer refuses to let me format the drive. No matter what I did (even using my external hd as the master) would not let me format it. Finally had to borrow a disc from a buddy of mine (Dr. Sweet, as you know him) and was finally able to force a format of the drive. Not before the viruses burned out my wireless pci…luckily I had a spare, but still, pissed me off XD

FOR THE HORDE!!! So since I got my pc up and running I’ve decided that I’m going to play WoW again…I’ve missed it and honestly I really need to lose myself in something when I’m not playing music. WoW will definitely help me with that. Not to mention that I have a good buddy on my old server and I love her to death. I will run with her once again and WE SHALL OWN ALL!!! I miss my character, too. Yes, she’s a Hunter, but she’s a BADASS Hunter…with outdated gear cause I haven’t played in like…….6 – 10 months? Yeah…any way. This is just my “hey, this is what happened and what I’m up to post.” Hopefully I’ll write more soon.


March 26, 1935 – April 30th, 2010

I love you, daddy

{March 30, 2010}   And it begins…

So, the first post of what I hope to be a blog that lasts at least a sub-par amount of time. I’m never really good with these things, honestly. I start out strong and never finish. Sigh, ah well.

Anyways!! I got this idea from a good friend of mine. He’s been blogging his little heart out and it seems to have done him good. For the purposes of this blog, we shall call him Mr. Bloo. Any how, Mr. Bloo seems to have been doing well lately, so I figured maybe blogging my ideas and stresses of the day out would make me feel a little better, you know?

So to begin, I suppose you’d have to know why I’m so stressed out and feeling like a large bucket of poop. I’d say about 5 to 6 months ago I got out of a really bad relationship. He was mentally and physically abusive, was addicted to several drugs, and I dated this loser for 2 years. Normally most people get over this, and I have for the most part, but I still feel gross, I guess is the word? I feel like “what the hell was I thinking?” and I question myself constantly now.

I’m also over-weight, which I’m sure has a lot to do with how I’m feeling about myself and how he made me feel. I believe it also has a lot to do with why I can’t really find a date. I’m sure it’s not the only reason, but I think that it’s a greater portion of the problem. Not to say I haven’t dated in the past 5 – 6 months, I have, I’ve just yet to find that “spark” you know? First and fore most I really want to work on losing weight, if I can do that, I’m sure that my confidence will pick up. You always have to work on the inside confidence, but I think if my outer confidence got a nudge it would help my inner-self.

My father has lung cancer…what kind and how bad I don’t know cause the hospital can’t seem to figure it out. What I do know is that he’s in a lot of pain, can’t do a lot of things on his own any more, and trusts me to be there for him when he needs help. Even if this help is at 3 in the morning. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame my father, it’s not his fault, but one day soon I would really like a day where I can sleep in. Not even a day off, just a day where I can enjoy my sleep. My mother and sister get to sleep in, and this is mostly due to my father feeling that I’m the only one who can help him, also due to the fact that my mother and sister will just sleep through the texts or calls my father sends them.

To top this all off I have a very stressful job. No, it’s not hard, it’s stressful. I work the front desk at a family go-kart racing facility. You would not believe, cannot believe, how stupid and angry people are. Every one thinks they’re special and are entitled to special deals even when I point out to them why they can’t do said special thing. Everyone yells at me, it’s my fault they can’t get what they want, so I have to be to blame, right? You’d be surprised how many people have called me a bitch because I said “I’m sorry, sir, that coupon isn’t valid on weekends.” My schedule is pretty hectic as well, part of this is my fault for living so far away. I live about an hour from work so if I work at 8am, I need to be up by 6am in order to get ready on time.

So am I an emo kid that will complain about why my life sucks? No, this is simply an introduction into my life, and perhaps a view into why I may be a little bit bitter to the world. I have amazing friends, I laugh, I sing, I play the drums, and honestly would give up the world if only for their sake. I like to dress up in a punk style and go out to tea houses, I enjoy life. Every once in awhile though, there is that road bump called “stupid” that we all encounter in life, and thus my rants begin…

et cetera